- Recognize the negative voice in your head – The hardest part of building self-confidence is taking the time to recognize the negative voice inside your head. After all, it’s taken a lifetime to find its way in there and it’s managed to make itself at home. The first step to building up your self-confidence is to recognize that it’s there and what it’s saying to you. Often, it seems to repeat the same sort of thing over and over again, “You could do that, BUT”, “You don’t KNOW enough to do that”, “You’re NOT good enough”, “You’re not THIN enough”, “Who do you think you are?” If you listen hard enough, you’ll spot it.
- Deal with the Voice – It’s origins stem from a time in your life when you needed to protect yourself in some way. You’ve learnt that without it you get hurt by people, by circumstance, by life. BUT, the question comes, is this helping me today, or am I now being hindered by it. If you’re afraid to tackle new challenges or circumstance, chances are it’s time to take control of those unhelpful negative thoughts. Now you recognize the voice, deal with it. Speak to it; tell it you no longer believe what it’s saying. Do whatever works for you, but don’t let that negative voice run rampant and hold you to ransom.
- Speak to yourself with the same love you would show to a good friend – It can be really difficult to view your own problems with perspective. They’re too personally attached for you. Next time you’re unsure of something, imagine your friend is asking you for advice on the same topic and act on the advice you would give them!
- Seize opportunities as they arise – A lack of self-confidence can cause us to shy away from new, exciting opportunities. Seize the day! Try new things and jump at the chance to diversify your life. The more you do this, the easier it gets as your comfort circle expands.
- Avoid paralysis by analysis – Over-thinking things can freeze us in uncertainty and opportunities pass us by. Avoid this by deliberately keeping things simple and coming up with a basic plan of action – and stick to it. Taking the first step is often the hardest, but be determined to take it anyway! Who knows what might be waiting on the other side?
- Stay confident that things will go well – Rather than thinking about the worst outcome, focus on the alternatives. Keep the best possible outcome in mind and aim for it. With a positive outlook, you will ALWAYS achieve something that you didn’t have before, even if it’s only a knowledge of what doesn’t work.
- Don’t let mole hills become mountains – When you’re feeling stressed about a particular problem think rationally about the scope of the problem. Make sure you’re not over complicating things simply by procrastinating. If you feel like you can’t do this yourself, bounce your thoughts off someone whose opinion you trust, and allow their opinions into your thought process.
- Actively engage with others – If you’re stressing about a social encounter or a meeting, the best way to avoid this worry is to ask others about themselves and actively listen to what they have to say. By engaging with what others are saying, you’ll make them feel good about themselves, take the spotlight off yourself and feel more relaxed and effective!
- Don’t be afraid to be different – You are absolutely unique, so why even try to be like anybody else. Rather embrace who you are and run with it.
- Ask for help if you need it! – What are friends for if not advice? If you’re struggling to prevent negative thoughts and over-thinking, then reach out to the women in our community. We are all here to support each other on this journey.
If you feel you would like more help in building self-confidence and self-esteem, then why not consider joining us on our Luscious in London retreat from 23 to 29 September 2018. You’ll have a week of coaching based activities that will build you up and launch you into this next phase of your life, followed by the support of our coaching team and amazing Rediscovering Me community.
For more information check out our Retreat page at https://www.rediscoveringme.org/luscious-in-london-self-esteem-confidence-personal-style-retreat/